~*tips & tricks to find a therapist that sticks*~
So maybe you know the difference between a counsellor and a psychologist now, but how can you actually apply this knowledge - along with other strategies - to sift through the seemingly endless lists of therapist you find online?
It can be so difficult to know where to start on this one! There are so many wonderful therapists that differ in so many ways, including but not limited to their approach to therapy, their mode of service delivery, their training, professional experience, their own lived experiences, and their personality. The good news with this is that there is likely way more than one therapist out there who could be very helpful for any one person, but the hard part is it can be very overwhelming. Below you’ll find a list of my top 5 tips to make therapist shopping a bit easier.
1) Consider your practical needs. While these points may not be enough on their own to choose a therapist, they can absolutely help you exclude some options. Some examples of considerations include: budget (if paying out of pocket, how much are you willing and able to spend on a weekly or monthly basis on therapy?), benefits (if you’re using extended benefits, what types of providers do your benefits cover?), availability (what times do you need a therapist to be available for appointments?), location (are they located somewhere accessible to you? do they offer remote therapy?), needs (e.g., if you are seeking a formal diagnosis, you need a psychologist or psychiatrist, if you’re seeking a specialized service like play therapy for your child, you need someone trained in that), and urgency (do you need to see a therapist ASAP or are you able to spend a bit of time on a waitlist if needed?) These are questions you could typically answer through looking at someones website or a quick email, so it might be most efficient to start here!
2) Consider your first impressions. These days, the most common way that therapists advertise is online - this can be through their websites, therapist advertisement sites like PsychologyToday, social media, and more. While these online spaces are certainly more curated than any human being is moment-to-moment, it can still be an opportunity to allow yourself to be drawn to certain things (or turned away by others). If you’re getting good vibes from someone’s website - perhaps the words they have written, the photos they have chosen, or an example of a presenting concern they tend to work with - it might be a sign that you are compatible in other ways too.
3) Utilize those free 15 minute consultations and pay attention to how you feel during! Although this might not be your first step, it is actually my most important recommendation because it is your first opportunity to have a genuine, personal conversation with a potential therapist. Sometimes, people feel pressure to go with the first person they meet, or feel guilty for “shopping” around, but meeting many therapists is actually a very normal and important part of the process. You are going to be investing a lot of time and money into getting support so you (and us therapists) want to make sure it’s worthwhile! When you meet, I encourage you to reflect on how the process was for you — did you feel comfortable? Did you feel like you wanted to open up more? Did you have opportunities to ask questions? Did you like the answers your therapist gave to these questions? Did you feel like you can provide feedback or speak freely to this person? These consultations are usually brief, so while you won’t dig into all the details of what brought you to seek therapy, it is a good sign if you find yourself feeling comfortable enough to want to. Keep in mind that a good relationship between a therapist and client is one of the strongest predictors for effective therapy, so feeling that *click* with someone is really valuable information.
4) Consider doing a brief values clarification exercise before your consultation. This might be particularly helpful for those who struggle with tuning into their feelings or intuition, and could look like simply taking a few moments to identify 3 of the things you think you would value most in a therapist. Examples could include: a sense of humour, warmth, expertise, being more formal or more casual, great explanations, a love of homework, a specific speciality, or a shared lived experience. A bonus benefit to this exercise is that this also helps you to identify questions you may need to ask to get a better sense of whether someone fits with your values. Remember that this consult is your time and it is your right to ask whatever questions feel important to you!
5) Be open to or ask for the opinion of the consulting therapist. If you’re feeling unsure, remember that the therapist you are meeting with has their own insights into their expertise and who they tend to work well with. They may offer upfront whether they think you would be a good fit or you may choose to inquire yourself. I can’t speak for all therapists, but please know that during our consult I will let you know if I think we are a fit or not, and if the latter, I will do my best to point you in the direction of something better suited to you. Another thing to remember is that just because you and a therapist may not be the best fit, this in no way means there is anything wrong with you (or the therapist, for that matter). There is a concept in counselling psychology called “goodness of fit” that speaks exactly to the reality that some therapists and clients when paired together simply work together better than others - this could be for many of the reasons named above or something inexplicable - human beings are complex!
Whew! Reading all these tips may have you thinking that the hunt for a therapist is a form of self development in and of itself - and you might not be wrong! While this isn’t always the case, I’d propose that when done with intention, the process of searching for a therapist may actually help you to discover more about yourself too. While it may take a bit more work at the beginning, I’d argue that this is a great appetizer to what I hope is a fruitful main course: therapy with someone that works for wonderful, unique you!
