On getting the most out of online therapy

As you may guess, I love online therapy for so many reasons. It makes therapy so much more accessible - you don’t need to deal with the time and costs of commuting to therapy, you end up with way more therapists to choose from (thus have a greater shot of finding the right one for you), and you can meet your therapist from anywhere with an internet connection and some privacy. For me as a therapist who also has to run a business, it adds flexibility and frees up more of my resources to spend towards being the best therapist for you through training, supervision, and more!

Yet even though I’m a huge fan, I appreciate that it is still a newer concept for a lot of people, and it can have its downsides just like anything else. If you’re someone who is unsure about whether online therapy is for you, or you’re simply trying to level up your online therapy game, these tips are for you!

1) Internet connection is everything! This is likely obvious, but it is so necessary that it must be said. Your online therapy will be so much smoother and effective if you can meet from somewhere that you’re confident has a solid connection - that way you don’t have to deal with awkward screen freezes, delays, or a fuzzy video. If you don’t know whether you have a strong connection, you can check using a website like this. FYI, you’ll typically see internet speed measured in kilobits (KBPS) or megabits (MBPS) - 1 MBPS is equal to 1000 KBPS, so it is much faster. Opinions differ, but you likely need at least 500 KBPS or 1.5 MBPS to have a decent video therapy connection.

2) Privacy is also key. This of course means that you need to make sure you’re somewhere with a closed door, but it may also extend into making sure you feel comfortable that no one could accidentally be overhearing your appointment, because understandably that would affect your ability to open up. For this reason (and to prevent the annoying feedback we sometimes get), I recommend using headphones, and if you’re sharing a space with other people, consider some sort of white noise to put between you and your door - you can easily download apps and play them through a phone or tablet.

My favourite furry distraction, Clover. When I’m doing therapy she like to keep busy by getting sand in my bed, sleeping, and barking at any and every noise she hears.

3) Minimize distractions. You want online therapy to feel as similar to in-person therapy as possible, which means that if you wouldn’t check your phone or reply to an email at your therapists office, don’t do it in online therapy either! It’s best to make sure your phone is off or away, close or minimize any distracting tasks, and open up your video conferencing to full screen. If others are at home, make sure they know you’re in a meeting that cannot be interrupted, and while we love our furry friends, use your judgment as to whether you have a pet who might need too much of you during session (for me, that means my whiny pup has to hang out in the other room!)

4) Maximize comfort. Just because online therapy is convenient doesn’t mean we should sacrifice the coziness of a therapeutic space! I encourage you to surround yourself with comforts that nurture the five senses just as a therapist with an office would. This could look like lighting a candle, wrapping yourself in a blanket or comfortable clothes, sipping some hot chocolate, sitting in a soft chair or near a bright window, holding something to fidget with, or putting on some quiet ambient music. Further still, remember that you’re going to be sitting there for an hour so make sure the phone, laptop, or tablet you’re using is set up so that you don’t have to work hard to be visible or see your screen. Finally, don’t forget to have Kleenex nearby for those teary moments!

5) Don’t neglect your need to decompress after. Therapy can take a lot out of us and it is perfectly natural to need a few moments to settle in and integrate so you don’t have to abruptly jump back into things. The one benefit that I can think of for having to travel back home after therapy is that it naturally carves out time for you to be able to sit with your thoughts and feelings without having to rush back into your day-to-day life. Even though online therapy doesn’t require this, I encourage you to try to create something similar (and you get to do it without having to deal with traffic!) If possible, give yourself permission to take just another 5-10 minutes to stay where you are after you close your video conferencing program - you could choose to sit and breathe, meditate, jot some notes down in a journal, cry, give yourself a hug, or even just zone out for a moment.

I hope that these recommendations help give you ideas for how you might make the most of your online therapy experience. For those on the fence, I want you to know that I was once unsure about online therapy too (as both a therapist and a client!) - it wasn’t until I experienced myself and heard from so many clients who either loved it right away or were pleasantly surprised by the experience that I became a convert. It isn’t for everyone - and that is completely okay - but I do encourage you to give it a try to see if you might also be pleasantly surprised.